attitude

Someone said i always have an attitude. Maybe I'm just being skeptical towards certain people. They were the deceivers, the toxic friends, the incompatibles.
Anyways i always love what I loved, though it signifies I never learnt.

But people, i assume, they say no when they mean yes, coz they understand how much it hurts when they say yes but mean no. Anyway people they all work differently and it's good to be seeing them living the way they are, though you sometimes marvel at how naive/ complicated/ stubborn/ lucky they could be. Just don't think that your way of handling life is the best way to.

I need someone who stops me when I'm over the top, backs me when I'm down.
Someone who crys to me and who hears me cry.
Tells me good stories, and we'd hang on at the lows.

sometimes, too many lessons make you numb. Maybe I'll carry on with my attitude and people's marvel at how I manage to live that way. Fold your hands child, you walk like a peasant.

So much do i wish the ask him to burn the letter, it's so much of an exhibit of my stupidity and ignorance. couldn't stand being made a fool. That's why I never workout in Califonia gym.

Here comes an epic

我一向都愛煞coldplay. 酷玩樂隊, 真酷!
2000 年以parachute出現, 用簡單又動人的旋律和重複的鋼琴chord pile up 到climax 的橋段,開始了britpop rock band ballad 的時代. KEANE, LONGVIEW, ELBOW, 發起了一段段令人起雞皮的美麗音樂.
當時他們很小, 音樂特別可愛和純樸. Don't Panic, Yellow, Trouble, We never Change, 都是我心中不朽的epic.
然後他們從 U2, RADIOHEAD, REM, PINK FLOYD, KRAFTWORK, ECHO and the BUNNYMEN, BRIAN ENO 中誕生, 變得成熟和巨大. 2002出現的 "A Rush of Blood in the Head" 將他們這band 膨脹起來, 加他們說的教, MAKE TRADE FAIR 等 band conduct, 令他們頓時很好很大. POLITIK的太空觀人類, GOD PUT A SMILE UPON YOUR FACE, THE SCIENTIST的無奈, CLOCKS的完美band mixing和鋼琴chord, DAYLIGHT, WARNING SIGN, A WHISPER的噪, A RUSH OF BLOOD IN THE HEAD的輕, AMSTERDAM, 我好像把全cd的歌曲都寫下了,但他們只是我愛的音樂. 完整又很polished, 但毫不做作, 歌詞簡單中point.
然後他們豬籠入水,又娶Gwyneth Paltrow 生Apple, 成了幸運的男人 (so to say...)
2005, x&y, 把他們改名為great craftmen instead of innovators. 彷彿一個足脹了的band 害怕溜氣. 的確是成熟和用心的, chord progrssion 有很多美麗的地方, band　mixing 也很有力, 加上旋律的依然起雞皮效果, d pop tune 很易上口. 不過, SQUARE ONE的太空感, WHITE SHADOW的80年代, SPEED OF SOUND是翻版CLOCKS, A MESSAGE的難受歌詞"my song i love, and i'm on fire for you, clearly"(twins 或Kylie 唱都得啦), THE HARDEST PART的古怪REM American Tune influence (你地係英國人黎, 高貴d 啦), BONUS TRACK TIL THE KINGDOM COMES的無關痛癢, 雖然都是有水準和吸引的, 但令人有點失望, 連最酷的fix you都話抄ELBOW 的GRACE UNDER PRESSURE... 死啦
但係我依然鍾意佢地的音樂,但為今次寫的歌, 全都是動人的epics,全cd 一次過聽晒係會吃不消的. 我都係愛先會係度吹. 唔通要講the tears 既 here come the tears? brett and bernard 唔係好夠火. 可能我未鍾意啦.

ain't no fake lover

suddenly miss you. couldn't understand why, all my friends say you're not good enough for me, but then i'm still stuck. Imagined last night that it was you who went into the bag store with me, you raised your head and looked, and talked with that pitched spicy voice in amazement, "i was someone wearing that the other day." and you smile at me.
maybe it's the smile i miss, not the lies and the wishful thinking.
anyway. i narrowly caught myself calling you up. i won't because things have never happened and they'll never be. honestly, we were in love for one single night. and i feel exhilerated for that one night, c'est tout et c'est comme ca. no more rehersals on stupid letters, no more tears and worries on trivial matters.
you smile like sunshine, but you laugh like a bitch. that's just for your information, not meant to derogate things, since they're meaningless. Someday, I'll find the prettiest sunshine somewhere around the corner, someone who sees the good in me, and am willing to take in the bads of me, someone who spots the values and specials in me. nobody'll like me for the sake of liking me, though how smooth and funny i am, coz i'm not likable.

i love Hedwig

唔知有冇人知道我好歡喜電影, 特別係d 騎騎呢呢古古怪怪既戲。但係近來睇少左,可能係怕一個人睇,又唔想同人一齊排隊,bc 排隊冇冷氣我會好似沖緊涼......好似講到我好gay 咁, haha....
最近睇左danny the dog, 李連杰好身手又有驚喜,雖然電影的速度感和鏡頭對影像的處理令全齣戲紊亂零碎,又在特別的戲份中沒有運用鏡頭發揮張力 (如danny 解頸帶時,神聖的一幕只有音樂的張力), 片末的MOZART SONATA No.11 又勁慢,仲慢過中大火車站果個 (果個令人噴飯的presentation!想死)又唔知點解唔繼續播到出字幕, 可能因為唔係massive attack 寫,佢地唔鍾意......但我覺得piano tune 襯過d electro hype... 畢竟此片的結局是溫馨的.
又睇左"留心那話兒" 和 "隔窗未了緣". 一個6,70年代英國文化壇上的大明星,終日無所事事逛公廁,自我又風流,終被男友用鎚打成肉醬. 令我很想看看他的有名話劇 "loot"; 一個羅馬美婦人厭惡家中無業丈夫和小孩,卻愛上隔窗的英俊銀行經理, 全片綺麗神奇,鏡頭色彩對話都有心有力,得不到的restrained emotion 令人心生騷養.其實王家衛一直都在說這些.也許說得更熟練和貼心.
但我的最愛還是hedwig and the angry inch , 柏林圍牆還在時東德的男孩,愛上收音機中的rock music, 想要變性結婚到美國闖天下, operation 卻留了他an extra 'angry' inch, 他的band 索性取名 hedwig and the angry inch. 愛他的音樂,歌詞動人又有心思.

I was born on the other side
Of a town ripped in two
And no matter how hard I tried
I'd end up black and blue

I rose from off of the doctor's lab
I lost a piece of my heart
Now everyone gets to take a stab
They cut me up into parts

I gave a piece to my mother
I gave a piece to my man
I gave a piece to the rock star
He took the good stuff and ran
***
look back on where I'm from
Look at the woman I've become
And the strangest things seem suddenly routine
***
And if you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
Through the dark turns and noise
Of this wicked little town
***
出自plato symposium 的故事
"the origin of love"
When the earth was still flat
And clouds made of fire
And mountains stretched up to the sky
Sometimes higher
Folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs
They had two sets of arms
They had two sets of legs
They had two faces peering
Out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked; while they read
And they never knew nothing of love
It was before the origin of love
The origin of love

And there were three sexes then,
One that looked like two men
Glued up back to back
Called the children of the sun
And similiar in shape and girth
Was the children of the earth
They looked like two girls rolled up in one
And the children of the moon
Were like a fork stuck on a spoon
They were part sun, part earth, part daughter, part son
The origin of love

Now the gods grew quite scared
Of our strength and defiance
And Thor said "I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer
Like I killed the giants"
But the Zeus said "No
You better let me use my lightning like scissors
Like I cut the legs off the whales
Dinosaurs into lizards"
Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh
Said "I'll split them right down the middle
Gonna cut them right up in half"
And the storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire.

And then fire shot down from the sky in bolts
Like shining blades of a knife
And it ripped right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun and the moon
And the earth
And some Indian god sewed the wound up
Into a hole
Pulled it 'round to our bellies
To remind us the price we pay
And Osiris and the gods of the nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane
To scatter us away
in a flood of wind and rain
And a sea of tidal waves
To wash us all away
And if we don't behave
They'll cut us down again
We'll be hopping around on one foot
And looking through one eye

Last time I saw you
We just split in two
You was looking at me
I was looking at you
You had a way so familiar
But I could not recognize
'cause you had blood in your face
And I had blood in my eyes
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine
That's the pain
That cuts a straight line down through the heart
We call it love
We wrapped our arms around each other
Trying to shove ourselves back together
We were making love
Making love
It was a cold dark evening such a long time ago
When by the mighty hand of Jove
It was a sad story how we became
Lonely two-legged creatures
It's the story
The origin of love
That's the origin of love.

這是一個小小的大故事, 要堅持.